


The Way You Make Me Feel

by detective_giggles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 4+1, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Episode Related, M/M, Soulmate Bingo, cameo by Barba's orange tie!, get the same feelings your soulmate feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25917604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/detective_giggles/pseuds/detective_giggles
Summary: This was for the Soulmates Bingo, the prompt is "Get the same emotions the soulmate feels".  Written in a convenient 4+1 format!
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49
Collections: Barisi Soulmate Bingo





	The Way You Make Me Feel

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! Vague spoilers for Pornstar’s Requiem, December Solstice, Intersecting Lives, and Next Chapter. Comments, Kudos and constructive criticism are always appreciated. The title is borrowed from MJ, obviously. I’ll give it back, honest! 
> 
> A HUGE thank you to Dana, my partner-in-crime! You have been there since the first fanfic all those years ago, and I appreciate you more than you know! Thank you for holding my hand through this trope. I would not be posting this without you and your encouragement! I love you!

A/N: Thanks for reading. This is for the Barisi Soulmates Bingo. Prompt: “Get the same emotions the soulmate feels” in a 4+1 format. Vague spoilers for Pornstar’s Requiem, December Solstice, Intersecting Lives, and Next Chapter. Comments, Kudos and constructive criticism are always appreciated. The title is borrowed from MJ, obviously. I’ll give it back, honest! 

A HUGE thank you to Dana, my partner-in-crime! You have been there since the first fanfic all those years ago, and I appreciate you more than you know! Thank you for holding my hand through this trope. I would not be posting this without you! I love you! 

1\. Friday, September 26, 2014

The first time it happened, Sonny was caught off-guard. He was in the squad room with Fin. They had just ordered lunch and he was sitting on his desk, talking way too much for the older man’s liking. 

Fin noticed the uneasy look on his face immediately, “You okay? Shou-”

Sonny tuned him out, his own bewilderment temporarily outweighing the sudden confusion and worry rapidly consuming him. “It’s the soul bond,” he realized, and Fin rolled his eyes.

He had only known Rafael-his soulmate!- for a few weeks. What he had seen of the man was always composed. He hardly realized Rafael was even capable of so many emotions, he definitely didn’t expect them all at once. Worry, concern, embarrassment, frustration, disbelief. They faded into one another so quickly, Sonny almost didn’t have time to identify each one before he felt the next coursing through his body. 

Sonny’s heart raced as the anger surfaced; his fists clenched involuntarily. He took a few deep breaths, trying to quell the physiological response. It was unnerving to feel so…furious…without context. Irrational, almost, although he was sure Rafael had a good reason for his anger. He dug his nails into his palms but it was a long few seconds before he could focus and realize Fin was standing next to him.

“You alright?”

“Uh, yeah… We’re fine,” Sonny inhaled slowly and sighed, “We’re fine.”

2\. Thursday, February 12, 2015

“Carisi?” Amanda reached out and smacked him with the back of her hand. “Carisi! You missed the exit!”

“Huh?” He looked over, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with tears that threatened to spill over.

Amanda rolled her eyes, “It’s not that big of a deal, just take the next one and we’ll back track,” she muttered.

Sonny jerked the wheel and pulled the SUV to the side of the road, slamming it into park. He dropped his head to his hand, both resting on the steering wheel. “I need a second.”

“Carisi?” her voice softened, “Are you okay?” 

Sonny was silent for a minute and then looked up, his lip trembling, “ _I’m_ fine.”

She cocked her head to the side; confusion, then understanding, flashed across her features. “Barba? Is he okay? What happened?” 

“I-I don’t know,” Sonny shrugged helplessly. That was the worst part for Sonny; that knowing wasn’t part of the deal. He wasn’t privy to the details of what happened to his soulmate, just the aftermath and the raw emotions left behind. The transference of emotion was one of the “side effects” of the soul bond. It was meant to help his soulmate, to ease the burden of—whatever he was going through. Similarly, it would allow him to share in joy and celebrate with his soulmate should the situation arise. Although, so far with Rafael, moments of pure joy were few and far between. 

“Is this the first time?”

“No.” Sonny shrugged. He and Rafael had been bonded for a few months, and it happened every so often- but Sonny still found it unnerving to have a complete disconnect between his emotions and his surroundings. Usually he could control it better, though, and not let Rafael’s emotions influence his own behavior.

“What are you feeling? What’s it like?” she questioned. 

He shook his head. He still wasn’t used to this, and truth be told, it felt like enough of a violation as it was, he couldn’t share the details with Amanda, “This is always weird, I can’t…” he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door, nearly forgetting to check for traffic as he stepped out. He made his way to the back of the vehicle, resting his hands on the back hatch.

He struggled to compartmentalize the feelings without understanding. The sorrow was easiest; the ache in his chest was harder…loneliness, perhaps? A loss? More puzzling was the heaviness surrounding him, weighing him down. Shame? _Guilt_. 

Sonny dropped his head and sobbed.

3\. Friday, April 15, 2016

Rafael sighed as he sipped his orange juice and waited for Rita. His foot tapped impatiently; anxiety was harder to process when it wasn’t his. That’s not entirely true; it was just harder to deal with. No amount of deep breaths or meditation could help-not that he had the patience for that under normal circumstances anyway. At least he knew the cause of his partner’s nervousness today. He just hoped it would be resolved favorably; he didn’t think he could stand the disappointment and heartbreak otherwise. 

The closer the clocked ticked to eleven, the more nauseous he felt and he was glad he had settled for plain orange juice instead of the alcohol infused version. He tried to distract himself with a little Sudoku, but the little digital timer did nothing to ease his mind.

“If you couldn’t meet at ten-thirty, why did you suggest it?” he snapped as Rita finally joined him.

“Hello to you, too,” Rita dropped gracefully into her chair and sipped the mimosa Rafael had ordered for her. “What has your boxers in a bunch this morning?”

“You, being twenty-five minutes late to the brunch meeting you scheduled!” Rafael scowled, “I have things to do.”

“Oh right, how is the boy toy?” Rita asked, conversationally, “Oh, that’s right. Today’s the big day, isn’t it?”

“We’re here to talk about your client, not my fiancé,” he nodded, “But yes.”

“I’m glad I don’t have to go through that again,” she commented with a smirk. He rolled his eyes as Rita sipped again and started in with some inane story about…a dog? 

“What are you doing?” he finally asked.

She shrugged and leaned back, crossing one leg over the other and grinning mischievously, “Stalling.”

Rafael rolled his eyes. It figures she would find enjoyment in wasting his time. She continued her story, watching him intently so he made sure to nod at the appropriate places, even though he wasn’t actually listening.

He could have sworn his heart stopped for a beat and he shifted, focusing on keeping his poker face in front of Rita. He kept calm when he felt Sonny’s relief and surprise, but he couldn’t hide his grin as Sonny’s joy washed over him. 

Rita smiled, “That’s what I wanted. Now, about that deal.”

4\. Wednesday, January 11, 2017

”And call Buchanan, I-” Rafael paused, disoriented, as a sudden rush of adrenaline coursed through him. “I want-” his voice shook as he struggled to form a coherent thought against the overwhelming fear that consumed his body. 

“Mr. Barba?” Carmen looked up at him from the doorway.

“Uh, I-” he gripped the side of his desk and leaned on it for support as his knees threatened to give away. The room spun and his limbs were shaky, it was all he could do to stay on his feet.

“Mr. Barba!” Carmen repeated, louder, as she hurried to his side. “Are you okay?” Time slowed and sped up. He had no idea how long he stood there, frozen to the spot. He was aware of Carmen’s presence, concerned, but he couldn’t make out her words. All he could hear was his heart pounding and the sound of his breathing, rapid and shallow, as his brain tried to comprehend what was happening. _Sonny_.

Carmen reached out, tentatively, putting one hand on his shoulder and grabbing his arm with the other, in a desperate attempt to ground him. “ _Rafael_!”

“Huh? What?” Almost as suddenly as it came on, Rafael felt the panic fade into relief. And something else… Gratitude? 

“Here, let’s get you into a chair,” Carmen murmured. She pulled his desk chair closer and helped ease him into it.

“Thank you. That doesn’t usually…” Absently, Rafael reached for his coffee, mostly for the comfort of something warm to hold in his hands. 

Carmen noticed the tremble and plucked the cup from his hands, “Maybe not right now. I’ll get you some water. Just sit for a moment,” she slid his phone across the desk, “Call Detective Carisi.”

“I will. Can you, um…”

“I’ll take care of it,” Carmen assured him. She gave his hand a reassuring pat before turning and leaving him alone.

+1

The courtroom was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Rafael paused, fighting back a grin as he looked to the jury box, making sure to make eye contact with at least a few jurors. He turned to Judge Barth, “Nothing further, Your Honor.” With his head up and shoulders back, Rafael made his way back to his seat, pausing only briefly to give Rita a smug look. She didn’t react, but her client had all but confessed on the stand, so he knew she was pissed.

He felt pride swell in his chest and he knew it was well-deserved. He also knew it wasn’t his. Neither was the tingle of arousal he felt building in his core. Rafael snuck a quick glance behind him and saw Sonny sitting a couple rows back. He had been distracted with his cross-examination and hadn’t noticed when Sonny slipped into the courtroom to watch.

Rafael narrowed his eyes, glaring just a second too long in warning. Sonny _laughed_ , his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. Rafael rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to Judge Barth. The feeling didn’t fade, however, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wondering if it always took so long to charge the jury. He briefly wondered if Sonny could sense his annoyance. His curiosity was answered a few seconds later when he felt a flash of amusement and giddiness. Finally, the jury was excused to deliberate and Rafael grabbed his things and exited the courtroom with Sonny on his heels. He hurried through the familiar hallways and opened the first door he knew would lead them into the stairwell. 

As soon as the door shut, he found himself pinned against it, with Sonny leaning over him playfully. Sonny braced his arm against the door and dipped his head, kissed him roughly, before pulling back just slightly. 

“Really, Detective? Do you always get hard watching me in court?” Rafael asked, He tried his best to sound annoyed, but he knew what Sonny’s answer would be.

Sonny reached up, toying with the silky tie knotted at the base of his husband’s throat, “You know what this orange tie does to me,” he whined. “But. Watching you strut around a courtroom…” He leaned in and nipped at Rafael’s earlobe, “performing for the jury…” Rafael shuddered as Sonny nipped at him again, “Outsmarting everyone in a 50 mile radius…”

“So that’s a yes?”

“You sound surprised,” Sonny grinned, “But you’re not. I’d be able to tell. You’re not actually annoyed anymore either. I’d know that too.”

“Oh? Alright, then. If you’re my expert witness, what am I?”

“In love,” he shrugged, “Enamored, smitten, twitterpated.”

Rafael huffed, “Twitterpated?”

Sonny laughed, “I’m not wrong, Rafael. Not when it comes to you.”

“No, you’re not wrong,” Rafael admitted. Gleefully, Sonny grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, before bringing their lips together once again.


End file.
